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Spammers Crack Me Up

Posted in: Blogs,Security by Richard Hearne on December 1, 2006
Internet Marketing Ireland

Like just about every other normal person I hate spam. Every day it slows me down and makes me wince.

But occasionally, just occasionally you come across a gem that puts a smile on your face.

Thank you mikigrubber

Askimet has been getting a bit busier lately (must be because Google loves me now). I filter out a lot of the automated bots with the Bad Behaviour plug-in, so I tend to be left with Asian and Eastern European SEO’s (*cough* spammers *cough*) leaving me nice comments.

mikgrubber gave me a good laugh with this one though:

Hello All. Let’s take a look. A great sollution for you.
pain relief
natural pain relief
lower back pain relief
chronic pain relief
neck pain relief
pain relief medication
knee pain relief
toothache pain relief
natural back pain relief
natural pain product relief
headache pain relief
pain relief cream
tooth pain relief
pain relief product
pain relief drug
pain relief patch
menstrual pain relief

Of course they were all live links. The usual crap you get. But the main difference with this one was how miki signed off:

Don’t delete this. Thanks!

I think that’s just fantastic. It just cracked me up. A polite spammer. What will they try next?.

(Of course I deleted him straight away :mrgreen:)

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  1. How would you fancy a degree [or even a doctorate] from a university that can’t even spell the word ‘and’?

    “Hello Rgjournal!!.
    Absloutely are no cotnracted tests, classes, books, or interviews !
    Attain a_Bachelor,s Masters., MBA, and Doctorate (PhD) diploma.
    Get the rewards nad support_that comes with a.diploma !
    Nobody is reejcted
    onymityq uestionless”

    Comment by Grandad — December 1, 2006 @ 12:35 pm

  2. They must have felt you were a better class of prospect than me.

    “Nobody is reejcted”

    They passed me by :(

    Oh well, there goes my chance at that MBA….

    Comment by Richard Hearne — December 1, 2006 @ 12:52 pm

  3. Wel, I aplide for the digree adn they acksepted me, so I am all rite.

    I tink that is wear Bertie got his edukashun two.

    Comment by Grandad — December 1, 2006 @ 12:59 pm

  4. Waht U tacking? I kinda like ur chic picture and taught we shud huk up.

    Comment by Richard Hearne — December 1, 2006 @ 1:23 pm

  5. I am going to do filosofy.

    As for de udder, trees a crowd.

    Comment by Grandad — December 1, 2006 @ 1:39 pm

  6. Ha I am actually working on a post about spam but waiting to gather more emails.

    Just got one two days ago written in Irish for some Irish education site, pity the spammer spelt Irish with one I so his url didnt work.

    Does spammer = non-edumecated?

    Comment by Gavin — December 1, 2006 @ 7:49 pm

  7. Hav yu met grunpah yet gaven?

    Comment by Richard Hearne — December 1, 2006 @ 7:55 pm

  8. me luve irsh grunpah is si funie!

    Comment by Gavin — December 1, 2006 @ 9:59 pm

  9. Hi Gaven, I luv yu two.

    If you wnat spam emails, I hav tousands you can hav. Do you wnat dem?

    Comment by Grandad — December 2, 2006 @ 8:16 am

  10. Another great one:

    Loads of buy phentermine links and then “Don’t delete. Help homeless children, thanks”.

    First politeness, now altruism :mrgrreen:

    Comment by Richard Hearne — December 2, 2006 @ 9:49 am

  11. Another type that I get a lot of …….

    Hello my daear friend
    I was looking throaugh athe web few weeks ago and found
    your profile. Now I decided to email you to get to kanow
    you better. I am coming to your country in few weeksb
    and thought may be we can meet each other. I am pretty
    looking girl. I am 25. Do not reply to this address

    I think they all got PhDs from the university above.
    A few things I’d like to know-
    Where is this “profile” they have all found?
    Why do they want to know me better?
    How do they know what I qualify as “pretty”?
    Why are they nearly always from Manuel or Sid or Harry or some other male name?

    Comment by Grandad — December 2, 2006 @ 10:01 am

  12. HAHAHAHA. Honestly, I don’t mind getting this type of spam. You get the many with the usual subjects you don’t even open. Then you get the creative subjects. Those are the ones opened.

    My favourites are “Your site dsesperetly needs a new lo.go. Your site design and image is prevent you from rank in search engines. We can help. tinyurl/…..”

    Some people never learn.
    Interesting ….. “Discussion” on Michele’s blog right now on spam though.

    Comment by Dave Davis — December 2, 2006 @ 7:41 pm

  13. ‘Interesting ….. “Discussion” on Michele’s blog right now on spam though.’

    I know. I’m throwing the odd spanner in the works!
    Wrong of me, but I can’t help it……

    Comment by Grandad — December 3, 2006 @ 1:10 am

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